Loyalty Schmoyalty!

Dear Suz,
I need help with a problem that I am having. I have a friend who has been a really good friend to me for a long time. She has helped me out many times, and I don't want to lose her. Now I am in a situation where my boyfriend wants us to move away. I owe this friend a good deal of money and if I move with him I will be losing the job she helped me get, as well as the apartment she co-signed for to help me get on my feet. I keep telling him I can't do that to her, but he is insistent that we move where we can live our lives on our own. My friend is known to show up whenever she feels like it and acts offended if we are busy. Because I owe her so much I try to listen and not be rude when she tells me how I should live my life, but this relationship with my boyfriend means a lot to me, he could be "the one" and her visits and opinions cause a lot of problems between us. What can I do? - Loyal Friend

Dear Loyal Friend,
While I sympathize with feeling torn in this situation, if you were such a loyal friend you would not need to ask me what to do. You would pay your friend back what you owe her, you would complete the terms on your apartment instead of leaving her holding the bag, you would do your job to the best of your ability because she vouched for you. And you would tell your boyfriend that until you handle your responsibilities you aren't going anywhere.
As for your friends unexpected visits and unwanted advice, anyone who has helped you out that much has the right to give you their opinion, but you aren't forced in any way to take that advice. Listen to what she says and decide for yourself, although if she has been able to help you in so many ways she probably is sharing quite a bit of wisdom with you. Which may be why when you listen to her your boyfriend has a problem, it seems as if he doesn't understand loyalty and friendship very well, if he's trying to convince you to run out on your obligations.
Remember honesty is the best policy, be honest with yourself, and don't do anything that you will be ashamed of doing.